For the second time in a week, future president Newt Gingrich blasted the out-of-touch snobs who use our city's subway system. Like most Americans, you've probably never been able to afford a trip on the subway, as it is the exclusive domain of Champagne-sipping dandies who love nothing more than to luxuriate in the MTA's Gilded Age-opulence. But from what we've heard, it's like entering another dimension of sophistication and enchantment, where only the most glamorous citizens ride gold-leaf locomotives along shimmering silver tracks winding through wondrous subterranean cathedrals that none of you lickspittles posses the refinement to appreciate. Populist everyman Gingrich gets this, and today he told a crowd of real Americans in Las Vegas that these "elites" in Manhattan who live in high rises and "ride the subway" are killing this proud nation.
Testify, brother Newt! But beyond volunteering for Gingrich's presidential campaign, what can anyone really do about these rich pigs who hog the elegant subways system all to themselves?
I know. Spend $500,000 on tchochskis at Tiffany's.