Quantum Quackery

I hope there aren't many people wasting money on this nonsense.

From the description on their website, quantum medicine to replace drugs and other harmful medical treatments:

[The] delivery system uses "Portal Access Keys™" that are downloaded to your personal computer, smartphone or tablet. A Portal Access Key™ (PAK™) unlocks a quantum portal developed by ZAG that allows bioinformation to flow from ZAG's quantum computer directly to the neural network of your brain, also a quantum computer, via quantum teleportation.

They really do charge people for this.

Comments

[Donna B.]

That's got to be a parody site, right? Surely no one would fall for that...

[Dr X]

I hope it's a parody site, but clicking to purchase, it appears to set up for real transactions with registration of new customers and login of existing customers. That's as far as I went with it.

[NMissC]

Obviously, the lawyer goes straight to the Terms and Conditions. And in them, they note that if you ask for a refund, they will remotely reverse the affect of whatever quantum medicine you've been given.

There is also this, which is really encouraging from a "medical provider:"

>>
Advice
The contents of the Website do not constitute advice and should not be relied upon in making or refraining from making, any decision.
<<

My vote? Parody. As an unpleasant side-effect of this site, for some reason, the repeated reference to "Quantum Man" has got the They Might Be Giants song "Particle Man" going through my head in repeat mode.

[Ruth]

The real problem here is that this is one of the worst-looking websites I've ever seen. Black background, magenta AND green text? Even when I apply a javascript to turn the background white, it's not really an improvement. So I guess if they are going for parody, as NMissC suggests, making their website deliberately hideous makes it funnier???

[Piotr]

Not a parody. They are from Hawaii and they have a booth at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas next week..

http://ces13.mapyourshow.com/5_0/exhibitor_details.cfm?exhid=T0011249

Dr. Jon S. Van Cleave and Michael H. Uehara promoted Hydroceuticals and other nonsense.

http://www.trademarkia.com/hydroceutical-corporation-a-quantum-incubator-for-miracles-77208455.html

Accused of quackery.

http://snakeoil4.tripod.com/

Dr Jon S Van Cleave serious legal troubles

http://archives.starbulletin.com/2006/06/02/news/story02.html

[Piotr]

Stalking case allowed at molestation trial
A Kauai doctor was convicted in Florida nearly a decade ago.

http://archives.starbulletin.com/2006/06/02/news/story02.html

[NMissC]

I guess Dr. Van Cleave is working in the same tradition as that pioneer of transplant surgery, the goat gland doctor, John Romulus Brinkley.

[Dr X]

NMissC,

That is funny! Never heard of Dr. Brinkley before. Wouldn't rabbit glands be a better choice?

[Terry Bite]

Ruth says:
"The real problem here is that this is one of the worst-looking websites I've ever seen."

Necessary to maximize neural uncertainty prior to download of quanta.