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Sunday, January 31, 2010

Comments

Thank you for this post.
"...prevented from maturing into healthy self-esteem we meet with what looks like an adult but really is a very shakily put together oversensitive and shame-prone narcissist..."

I feel like this adult. How do I get beyond this? I am 26, college graduate, but feel like I'm not good enough, smart enough, quick-thinking enough to be a leader. I have low self-esteem, I remain a child.

I get upset at work when my ideas are shot down. When this happens, I tend to accept the rejection and just shut down, instead of perhaps reworking my idea or defending it or try to persuade the others (I have acted like this since a child. Receive criticism, I shut down. and withdraw. And end up only hurting myself as emotionally this is a retarding process and I do not grow) So inside, in my mind, I am angry at what I perceive as passionless co-workers who are not invested in what they do. To myself, I label them as narrow-minded, rigid. And I remain angry. Like a child. When perhaps I just need to work on communicating more effectively.

I know I have good ideas and I have a desire to develop them. I fear that my fragility and 'over sensitive' self (shyness, timidity,) that has thwarted me throughout life...will prevent me from maturing and doing the things I want to do.

I feel powerless. I am shame prone. But I don't feel like a narcissist because I don't think myself the gift to the world. I don't think my approach to living to be the best approach, I don't think myself the smartest guy in the room etc. Still I hold this anger.

MR,

Thank you for your comment. I don't have time to respond immediately, but do check back tomorrow.

Dr. X, I guess I should also say that when I read Catcher, I remember being very sad. I identified with Holden's alienation and inability to connect. And his depression.

Ultimately, I was disappointed with the story. Holden recognized the things that he did not like about his environment, but he did not recognize the value of his own agency to change these things.

Interestingly, when Salinger was formulizing what would become Catcher in the 40's, a wholly different real-life teenager named Martin Luther King Jr. was coming of age in Atlanta. Imagine a teenager reading a coming of age story from the perspective of a character like King.

Anyway, thank you for your blog. It is very interesting.

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