If this viscous screed from Dan Gilbert wasn't posted on the Cavs' website, I would assume it was parody.
Dear Cleveland, All Of Northeast Ohio and Cleveland Cavaliers Supporters Wherever You May Be Tonight; As you now know, our former hero, who grew up in the very region that he deserted this evening, is no longer a Cleveland Cavalier. This was announced with a several day, narcissistic, self-promotional build-up culminating with a national TV special of his "decision" unlike anything ever "witnessed" in the history of sports and probably the history of entertainment.
This is only the beginning of the rant. Gilbert goes on to describe LeBron's departure from the Cavs as a "shameful display of selfishness," a "cowardly betrayal," a "shocking act of disloyalty" and a "heartless and callous action." Gilbert also declares that LeBron will take the Cleveland "'curse' with him down south." And there was something about a "dreaded spell and bad karma."