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Thursday, April 05, 2012


Dr. X:

My own experience, going back about 28 years was that I stopped caring what happened. My then PCP asked me if I wanted to hurt myself, and I told him that I didn't, but I also didn't really give a fuck if I lived or died.

I've had enough drugs (including alcohol) on hand for most of the last 40 years to do myself in and I think I've probably been depressed to some extent for various periods of time.

A lady friend of mine, from around that period back when, told me once that she viewed suicide as the ultimate act of selfishness. I'm not sure if I agree with that, but I do know that a lot of folks looking for attention will pull out all of the stops, at times.

My counsellor back in the period I spoke of was exactly what I needed. He didn't try to "fix" me. He listened to me (and either recorded our conversations or had a nearly eidetic memory) made some good common sense suggestions about how I might deal with those relationships and situations I could not avoid and how I could avoid those that I could NOT deal with.

I don't know if "life saver" is the term I would use to describe him but, "helper" is certainly one that comes to mind.

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