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Thursday, May 10, 2012


I often think of what Dr. House says on the show House -- that patients lie. And they and we all do. I am very wary of the person who starts to feel they must tell all their secrets and similarly I am wary of the AA dictum that "we are as sick as our secrets" as I have seen people who tok this as reason for revealing things to others that probably should have been held.

Where to draw the line?

"Where to draw the line?"

That is the question.

Here's another thought about that. Maybe we should think in terms of "good enough" lying, which sounds funny to me, but we talk about maternal functions that way.

A favourite saying: "Healthy families have privacy, sick families keep secrets". Privacy eliminates the need for secrecy. And respect for privacy helps other healthy traits develop—autonomy, self-respect, self-reliance, trust.

Really insightful ideas. 'Does the ability to keep a few secrets ... aid in developing a more differentiated sense of self?' I've really never thought about this question before. But it resonates as a real possibility, and an idea certainly worth further exploration.

Cheryl, I know a guy who's dedicated to radical honesty. He considers it a mark of his advanced psychological development. The truth is, that while there are aspects of it that I admire, I can't help having the feeling that there's something 'unsettled' inside that motivates him to go to such an extreme.

Hon.Husb. - I like that saying (and had not heard it), and respecting privacy seems important to me as well. The only concern that comes to mind is whether children may misinterpret 'respect for privacy' as an unspoken rule that certain personal topics are off-limit. Perhaps an answer is to explicitly talk about the importance of respecting privacy and also of knowing that someone is here to listen to whatever you wish to share.

Boy, a lot of interesting ideas swirling around here.

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