In the New Media culture, anything good you do is tossed in a pit, and you are measured by who you are on your worst day. What’s the Boy Scout code? Trustworthy. Loyal. Helpful. Friendly. Courteous. Kind. Obedient. Cheerful. Thrifty. Brave. Clean. Reverent. I might be all of those things, at certain moments. But people suspect that whatever good you do, you are faking. You’re that guy. You’re that guy that says this.
At my most clearheaded, I would hesitate to make sweeping judgments about a person based on what they might say during an angry meltdown, other than that they may be subject to fits of rage. It isn't that the words are meaningless, but words uttered in such moments don't necessarily define the so-called true character of a person.
Consider emotionally volatile couples. Are the worst words said in the heat of anger the essential truth about their attitudes and feelings toward one another? What about the positive and loving things they might otherwise say? Are the latter false, an act, a pretense?
If words spoken during emotionally intense moments are somehow truer than the words spoken during more calm, self-reflective moments, what about words spoken in the heat of sexual passion? Are they the essential truth about a person's feelings or are the nasty things said during an argument the truth?
Answer: there is no general principle that applies to all cases. People harbor mixed feelings, conflicted attitudes and implicit attitudes that they don't consciously embrace. Ever have a thought, a wish, a desire or inclination that you reject as morally wrong? Of course you have.