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Tuesday, April 14, 2015


That was a perfectly horrible story. My take on it is that the primary issue was the jealousy of the children by first marriage of mom having a sexual relationship with her second husband. Plus the classic kids' "YUCK" at the mere idea of parents having sex at all. And ageism about it being inappropriate or disgusting for older people to have sex. Plus the increasing absurdity of ensuring consent. One wonders who will WANT to have sex with anyone pretty soon when people will have to sign in triplicate and spell out just exactly what and when and where. Ours is the age of abandon all mystery, all spontaneity, all romance, all lust in the interest of avoiding liability...

Now, of course there is a possibility of a demented person being sexually abused. And people are right to be on the lookout. But it sounds as if they had a happy marriage and she is happy to see him when he arrives. Dear God! I hope that when I get old and my mind goes, that if there is somebody still in love with me and faithfully visiting me, that if they want to pounce on me and find me attractive some puritanical jerk doesn't shriek in horror at the idea of me enjoying one of the few pleasures that might be left to me by then....

I would frankly worry more about a demented patient being sexually abused by an orderly or some other male worker in the hospital/nursing home than about her husband....Have people forgotten how many mentally ill women over the years have been raped and otherwise abused by male caregivers in mental hospitals???

There is also the whole "not dead yet...but you soon will be" (see the famous plague skit in Monty Python) Americans are especially uncomfortable with dying people, tho Brits come a close second. Along with this pathological fear of death goes a turning away from old, sick and dying people, and a general unwillingness to let them participate in life very fully even when they are still quite capable of plenty still. I remember the utter refusal of the National Health Service staff to let me bring either of my dying parents a decent meal into the hospital instead of the low budget crap that was hastening their respective ends. I used to sneak in exorbitantly priced French pastries and petits fours and small cheeses and pate (totally unhealthy but good for morale) because such things could be smuggled in coat pockets. My point is, the rapturous expressions on their faces and their roommates (8 sick old ladies in a typical NHS ward at that time) was worth it. It's as if once people receive a terminal diagnosis some idiots think they should just ponder things spiritual and stop enjoying the pleasures of this world. Rubbish!


I share similar speculation on the background and motives. Knowing there might be some clarifying element that could change my mind, I'm inclined to think that prosecutor should have exercised discretion and declined to prosecute. Though he may have a case based on the letter of the law, I don't think cases like this were the intended target of the law.

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