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Sunday, November 29, 2015

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And then there's the variant where the mom (usually) so obsessively diets, dyes her hair and has work done on her face, plus dresses in clothes from the same stores as her kids. I think this constitutes child abuse. People who want to be friends with their kids to assuage their own loneliness, to deny their own aging, to voyeuristically intrude on aspects of their kid's life that should be private or only discussed w peers.

I am, in many ways, a terrible parent, but one thing I did seemed to help my kids' as they hit adolescence: I stopped dressing sexy, I never wore makeup, I kept my hair simple and in a ponytail. I always had mountains of good food on the table and friends were welcome. I wore what one kid called nun shoes. At a time when my daughters were starting to blossom, the household focussed on and celebrated THEIR beauty not how their mom looked. This is as it should be. Young girls need to their mom to love them, nag them, not compete with them appearance wise. I personally didn't give a hoot about trying to look hot as my spouse loves me whatever I look like. Now that they are grown up, I fuss more over my appearance again. But I truly believe that there is something mean about these mutton dressed as lamb mommies.

I realize that, in my town, it's out of fear. Many of them are 2nd wives afraid of being replaced (as they replaced their spouse's 1st wife) if they look old. My town has this unusually high percentage of old rich men w beautiful younger wives whom they have traded in for a new model. It is hard on teenage daughters --they grow up thinking that a woman's only security lies in her beauty.

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