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Wednesday, December 23, 2015


(I'm avoiding wrapping presents, I HATE wrapping presents, don't analyse that)

It's very odd, but for some reason (perhaps my peculiar peer group in college, mostly somewhat literary types, writers, fairly serious academics, all pretty neurotic, lotsa kids and relatives of Holocaust survivors, lots of artsy types planning ultimately to go pre-med or law when they "got serious") most of us were in the habit of free associating to each other when sitting over coffee or relaxing in the dorm. Sometimes jokingly (we could do quite funny monologues to imaginary shrinks at the Health Services) sometimes seriously when agonising over a moral dilemma and how it related to our families of origin. Not for therapeutic purposes, but because we were genuinely interested in each other and how the mind lily pad hops from one idea and thought to a feeling to another.

I remember by contrast arriving in seminary and being shocked by how linear and would-be rational some of my peers there were, how lacking in imagination and empathy. And these people were going to minister to hurting people? These people were going to preach the word of God? They thought me a flake, no doubt. Oddly (?) those of us who got the preaching awards and were the most involved in clinical training in pastoral care, ethics, etc. were also the most likely to have been in therapy, and many of my friends and teaching fellows had been in quite lengthy psychoanalysis. It definitely made them better ministers, tho not always kinder people (haver greater insight into their own weaknesses was what made them more useful to others) but they were viewed with suspicion by the narrow minded.

On another note, the business of underfunding pensions. The jerks who advised municipalities and states to stop funding pensions during the boom. A big issue where I live. I am so SICK of reading conservative rants against "greedy" unions "bleeding taxpayers dry" for daring to collect on a contract (i.e.: the promise to provide a pension after years of service), when the real issue is stupid administrators greedily thinking they could forego making contributions during those years.

Not to mention, the bribes paid to public administrators to put municipal and state funds in hedge funds and bad investment management companies that got terrible returns during the last 10-15 years. Had they put them all in Vanguard with low fees in the S & P 500, the returns would not have been exciting, but they would have been reliable over the long run.

That's interesting that you dreamed so soon after something that so disturbed you. So you viewed it as about something in your past that you were reworking, because of what the death of the colleague stirred up in you?

I would wonder also if it might be you looking at something you are in the midst of now, or that could happen. I tend to always ask "Is this like the Railroad Sign "STOP, LOOK, LISTEN", what is it warning me NOW, or in the future"

Whenever one dreams about "authorities' it can mean SO many things (to me at least). I'm not an expert (because not a pro like you) on the jargon, but to me dreaming about running from authorities can mean feeling twinges of conscience about something, or can mean sensing that some associate may be sketchier than one had initially thought so one worries about a situation getting into illegal territory (as when a relative came home saying colleagues were giving him the "uh-oh" feeling but he didn't know why. Ultimately, shortly after he left, several were arrested for fraud. ) Or one can be feeling that bad habits can be about to catch up with one (this is pretty common right before a physical--"authorities" would be a man's fear that his steak and beer habit might lead to bad numbers on the blood tests.

We saw "Carol" a few nights ago. I don't think it's spoiling anything to say that it was enjoyable to see something that was so purely and utterly for adults. I hope you like it as well.

And Merry Christmas, btw!

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