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Thursday, December 22, 2016


Funny, I was just noticing Canada Goose coats online and on a couple of people on the street today after wondering about the hoopla last year...Sparked by a few premature 10 degree mornings (when it gets lighter I like to take monster dog to empty winter beach very early as dog does NOT play nicely w others, but wind chill is wicked. An old raccoon coat is about all that works there...

What we wear: clothes are about affiliation. The Japanese proverb: the nail that stands out gets hammered. About fitting in more than self expression IMHO. Maybe I am too much influenced by having been blissfully happy as a kid in school uniform and for once not feeling eccentric and awkward?

People I know here claim they are expressing their individuality w their clothes when really we are expressing which class, social group, type of taste we have. Usually attitudes are influenced by people we like at church or at work (or by people we do NOT want to look like) or by people we aspire to look like. A secretary at work dresses like a short "blame it on the shoes" ad in cheap clothes that are too flashy for her job but it gets a lot of male attention which actually helps get her pay raises . Many in my peer group in college who (unlike me) did NOT come from dull New England families, used the Preppy handbook religiously in an attempt to look like some idiot's idea of a member of the ruling class. (Dress for the job you want?)

And then there is the whole phenomenon of dressing down to stay safe in bad neighborhoods, or women dressing conservatively to avoid looking like floozies in staid work environments or recreational settings where exposed skin might attract dangerous male attention. When I worked in the ministry in youth there were double standards for women about never looking too pretty or too fashionable lest it make one appear frivolous or a threat to people's husbands. I adopted the habit of dressing somewhat like the RC nuns out of their former habitI had worked w--no one objects to frumpy and sensible in church.

Currently, I have to dress in clothes not to my taste at work because some of my coworkers falsely assume I am rich because of where I live and where I went to school, etc. One has to try and blend in. I can only dress in a way I consider normal on the weekends and to church.

And then when I travel I wear as boring and inconspicuous and classic clothes as possible so as to fit in. I try not to look American because it's embarrassing being asked about our politicians.

As to dreams? I almost always sleep badly, and so rarely remember my dreams. On the rare occasions when I do, I present them w great fanfare to a wise therapist of my acquaintance who treats them offhandedly. However I tend to mull over them for weeks, because I consider them valuable coded messages. Especially because so rare. When one is hyper-verbose, and writes as much as I do, one prizes the rare and peculiar clues to what lies beneath the verbiage.

Yep, attire is also a marker of belonging to your class or your social group. And I totally agree with you about the value of extended mulling over of dreams, because they do offer coded messages that are of value.

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